Name:
Anish Sonar
Chapter:
Altona Chapter
What’s your story?
My family moved to Melbourne from India when I was 15. I arrived on the weekend, went shopping for school gear and was straight into it on the Monday. Not a very long run-up.
Reflecting on my life so far, it’s been a blessed (albeit tough at times) and maybe somewhat typical, first generation immigrant story. I’ve been given the opportunity to study, play every sport, indulge in every hobby under the sun and spend most of my twenties perfecting the art of the bended elbow. Having spent most of my life in Melbourne, I often pause for a moment when I’m asked (usually with no mal-intent), where I am from because I genuinely don’t know how to answer that question!
How long have you been with TGBC? First Book?
I first came along to the Williamstown Chapter in November 2018 to discuss The Things They Carried.
How did you end up coming to TGBC?
I was going through a divorce at the time and I felt like I was being a burden on my friends and a big part wanted to just isolate myself. I realised I actually needed to get out of the house and spend time engaging in something that made me feel less alone. I am not sure why, I looked up men’s clubs or book clubs (I can’t quite remember). I was a bit wary of the Tough Guy Book Club’ that Google suggested to me and distinctly remember worrying if this was code for ‘Lets Complain About Women’ club. I decided to give it a go anyway, thinking if it was a cult, I’d just give fake details and make a quick exit.
On my first night, hearing the lads around the table speak so candidly about themselves during the introductions made me realise straight away that this was something special.. They were talking about real shit and important topics but were still having a laugh. I was sat next to a Vietnam veteran, who recounted his personal experiences through the medium of the book and had the whole table awe-struck. At the end of the meet, he gave me his copy to read.
I was hooked. I loved and believed in what the club provided men and as the months turned into years, I ended up leading the Altona chapter and helped setup the Point Cook chapter.
What is your favourite TGBC book?
This is a tough question! If I had to pick, it would be Stoner. I have not seen the beauty of an ordinary life celebrated so poignantly in any other book.
Why are you a member of TGBC?
I am a firm believer that conversations can change the course of history. Bringing robust conversations about difficult topics into pubs, helping men read more and use books as a medium to open up and create connections with other men is something I think is worth being a part of.
What do you think a "Tough Guy" is?
Well, that’s the million dollar question isn’t it? Sometimes, I think someone that lives for more than just himself, in whatever capacity, is pretty tough. Other times, simply choosing to get out of bed exemplifies toughness.
In general, for me, it’s a guy that has integrity.
What is your favourite library?
Oh it’s my local, the Altona library!
What book have we not read that you'd like to do at TGBC?
Mister Pip by Lloyd Jones. It’s a heart-wrenching story about ordinary people made to go through extraordinary circumstances but is ultimately uplifting.
What is something people wouldn't know about you if they judged you by your cover?
Perhaps the fact that I have trained (to some extent) in seven different martial arts.
