Moe’s Tavern is Springfield’s premier (and only) dive bar, proudly serving Duff beer, pickled eggs of questionable origin, and insults from the owner since the late 1980s. Our clientele includes everyone from Homer Simpson to Barney Gumble, with occasional prank calls from suspiciously high-pitched children.
Job Title: Assistant Beer Foam Technician (Moe’s Tavern)
Location: Moe’s Tavern, Springfield
Role Overview:
We’re seeking an Assistant Beer Foam Technician to join our world-class team (Moe, Barney, and sometimes Homer when he’s behind the counter). You’ll be responsible for maintaining the perfect foam-to-beer ratio, ensuring Barney doesn’t drink straight from the keg, and helping Moe yell at patrons as needed.
Key Responsibilities:
-
Operate the Duff tap with precision (foam should be 1–2 inches, unless Moe says otherwise).
-
Restock pretzels and peanuts—bonus points if you can do it before Homer eats them all.
-
Clean glasses until they’re almost sanitary.
-
Handle prank calls with professionalism (or creative swearing).
-
Assist Moe in removing unruly customers (a common occurrence).
Requirements:
-
Must be over 21 (mental age doesn’t count).
-
Ability to work in dim lighting and tolerate Barney’s belching.
-
Prior experience with “liquid management” (aka drinking) a plus.
-
Thick skin—Moe’s customer service style is… let’s say direct.
-
Willingness to accept that your paycheck may occasionally be in the form of Duff.
Perks:
-
Unlimited beer samples (at your own risk).
-
First dibs on forgotten wallets left at the bar.
-
Free sarcasm and life advice from Moe.
-
Opportunity to meet Springfield’s finest (police usually show up once a night).
How to Apply:
Slide your résumé under the sticky bar counter at Moe’s. If it doesn’t stick to the floor, you’re hired.